Emotional Intelligence.


Emotional intelligence is only one among eight other categories of human intelligence classifications, among which mental intelligence the most other commonly spoken about.

The same way IQ is used to represent mental intelligence, EQ is used to represent Emotional intelligence. Both EQ and IQ are important forms of intelligence among qualities and skills of balanced management and leadership. One needs intelligence to understand the processes in management as well as the skills to get others to perform effectively, no matter how intelligent you are, to get people to perform effectively you need a high EQ.

For better understanding of this article, we shall define Emotional intelligence as the ability to identify, understand and control our own emotions and that of others using information gathered to guide our own behavior and mental processes.

It is one of those must have skills for managers and leaders

There are several ways one can measure and gauge their own EQ among such websites are

  1. https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html (About 10 min)
  2. https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3979  (Minimum 60 min)
  3. https://www.arealme.com/eq/en/ (About 10 min)

Like will power, emotional competence can be developed and strengthened over time if one is able to correctly understand it’s characteristics, identify it’s components and practice on improving them, just like one works on muscles to strengthen and develop them.

The more you understand your emotions, the better your personal and professional life will be. Emotions have been used by organizations and persons who understand emotional intelligence and how to get the most out of what they wish, establishing relationships, enhancing teamwork, maximizing performance, as well as propelling efforts towards set goals.

Classification of EQ components.

Three basic areas in which individuals and professionals apply emotional intelligence in decision making and leadership are-;

  1. Emotions we can identify in ourselves as well as respond to them.
    1. Self-awareness

This is ability to identify and understand our own emotions and recognize their impact on our own performance. We can further divide self-awareness into

  • Emotional self-awareness,
  • Accurate self-assessment,
  • Self-confidence.

2. Self-management.

This means controlling our emotions and using our awareness of them to stay flexible and act positively. We can further sub divide self-management into the following.

  • Emotional self-control,
  • Transparency,
  • Adaptability,
  • Achievement orientation,
  • Initiative,
  • Optimism

2. Be aware of emotions in others and have the ability to use this information to guide ourselves around them.Using skills gained in self-awareness, say for example empathy, we can tune into what others are thinking, this way we grow in our thinking by ability to recognize other people’s experiences and not just rely on our own experiences.

  1. Social awareness and skills.

This is ability to identify emotions in others and understand their perspective.

It can further be divided into -;

  • Empathy, Click to link to our previous document on Empathy.
  • Organizational awareness,
  • Service orientation.

2. Relationship management

Your ability to use awareness of your own emotions together with the understanding of the emotions of others to manage interactions. We can further sub divide this into the below classes-;

  • Inspirational leadership,
  • Influence,
  • Developing others
  • Change catalyst
  • Conflict management
  • Building Bonds
  • Teamwork and Collaboration
  1. The other core part to add onto this is self-motivation,

This is your ability to realize you can use emotion to assist you accomplish the things that you want to accomplish, whether internally or externally with others, this gives you leverage to accomplish and achieve your set goals.

We can capture these in the diagram below.


How we can better it.

  1. Emotions we can identify in ourselves

On self-awareness,

  • The way we define something becomes our understanding of it, work to improve your vocabulary of descriptions, say for example when experiencing emotions of “fear”, describe exactly how it feels, is it being terrified, suspicious, anxious, alarmed, panicked, nervous, scared or merely worried.
  • Our ability to say things as we feel at a particular moment the way we feel them best described by our variety of known words.
  • Self-regard, Accept yourself for who you are.
  • Assertiveness, ability to say in a non-offensive way, what we need to say when we need to say it.
  • Impulse control, this is our ability to delay or resist temptation to act according to control of emotion by either us or others.
  • Flexibility, ability to transform our emotion from one state to another. I.E when we smile with the delivery of disappointing news helps us stay more in touch with our positive than negative.


  • Learn and practice your ability to regulate emotion, when you can do something to deal with the emotion experienced, stop it, change it, relax it and propel it elsewhere to your advantage.
  • It’s the regulatory capability that builds our emotional intelligence. When we are angry in a particular situation and connect with our anger emotions, we slowly loose capability to control and manage the emotion “anger”, to come out of this might involve rethinking the situation, looking at it differently, relaxing our self, regulating breathing, walking away or simply laughing about it to help manage and reclaim control back to ourselves.
  • Be aware of emotions in others.

2. Emotions we can identify in others.

Social awareness and skills,

  • Recognize that emotion exists in other people, some of whom are driven by emotions like robots on a program, realize that emotion has the magical ability to rub onto us. Realize that emotion you identify on others behaves like a virus, everyone who spots it tends to catch it, in other words, we get affected by other people’s emotion.
  • Learn to outsmart this by overriding them with your own positive feeling.
  • Learn not to believe everything you hear.
  • Social responsibility, give back to the society and to be helpful.
  • Be part of professional and groupings that help build your skills with others, Toastmasters, Ted ex talk groups, societies, investment groups and the so called “Chamas”

Relationship management

  • Form boundaries around emotions, your ability to recognize that these are my emotions and these are the other person’s emotion, with a better classification of these boundaries one can learn to better manage relationships.
  • Recognizing that emotions that someone else has does not have to be yours and when you manage your emotion you realize it’s not for other people to manage or dictate our own emotion but ourselves.
  • You do not have to react to every emotion sent your way.

3. Self-motivation.

Self-motivation is complex. It’s linked to your level of initiative in setting challenging goals for yourself; your belief that you have the skills and abilities needed to achieve goals; and your expectation success with equivalent hard work, Four factors are necessary to build the strongest levels of self-motivation:

  • Self-confidence and self-efficacy.
  • Positive thinking, and positive thinking about the future.
  • Focus and strong goals.
  • A motivating environment.

By working on all of these together, you should quickly improve your self-motivation.

What begins to happen with the knowledge of this is you begin to grow and better your EQ. Our ability to able to recognize aspects, how we interact with them and how they make us interact with others based on emotion that’s present and how we can use this to get the kind of things we wish for in our relationships and life.

Some advantages of learning about emotional intelligence

  • We Perceive, express and manage our emotions better.
  • Helps individuals and organizations realize their full potential.
  • Makes us aware of other people’s feelings as well as help establish strong relationships.
  • Help establish and improve relationships with others.
  • Use the information provided by your emotions to act appropriately in the face of our daily challenges.

When we probably don’t know what it is we are experiencing, it becomes difficult or impossible to manage it well and sometimes present a vulnerability that can be exploited by others who have mastered emotional management of others.

Emotions cloud judgement and perception, one main reason being that we fail to recognize them, second being that emotions are hard wired to our brains and affect how we think all the time.

Emotions are inbuilt within us and must be learnt to understand and explore more of ourselves.

Emotions are the primary driver of our behavior and reaction.

Emotions take over attention and make disengagement difficult.

There is no such thing as being a perfect emotional intelligence but rather it is a spectrum in which everyone can learn and improve themselves.

Some areas of application in our today’s life are-:

  • Effective managers know how they can best get others to perform effectively by managing their own emotions as well that of others.
  • Emotional intelligence is used in manipulation of emotions that surround demand and supply. I.e. guts to buy shares when others are rushing out due to fears. Causing a fluctuation between supply and demand.



  1. List down 10 positive emotions and 10 negative emotions you can connect with, start with Happiness and sadness on top of your list.
  2. Understand each of the emotions listed above and identify how they can be caused and each of them has effects on you.

I finish this with Dr. Yusuf Bala Usman’s saying that goes-;

If you are emotionally attached to your tribe or political garment to the point that truth and justice become secondary considerations, your exposure is useless. If you cannot reason beyond petty sentiments, you are a liability to mankind”– Dr. Yusuf Bala Usman

This thus calls on us to continually work and develop our emotional intelligence to realize the most of our potential inside of us.


Frank Odhiambo

Mind Grid Perspectives

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