Anger management


Do you wish you could have better control of your anger? Do the people around you wish you were more pleasant to stay around. Your inability to handle situations calmly might be affecting you negatively in many subtle and major ways beyond what you might be aware of.

Anger is a natural emotion that exhibits in different forms depending on intensity of pressure we have been subjected to. Mild forms of anger include irritation, displeasure, disgust or dislike. Anger can come as a reaction to criticism, threat, habits, stress or frustration.

Excessive anger is a major cause of personal and societal issues some of which include marital, family, tensions between parents and children, teacher – student tension as well as work place tensions.

Sometimes anger is responsible for more than just tension, road-rage for example is a display of mature buildup of anger, not to speak about the fights that seem to be the ultimate results that shake our heads into some sense.

People with quick temper sometimes claim they can’t control their anger, that’s not true. We cannot always control how we feel, but can almost always control how we react; for example, when we are getting robbed and have to speak with the calmest voice we can or even in a respectful manner if we get to speak at all, just so that we save our lives. This then obviously means that we can all control our tempers when we really want, wish to or even pressured to by circumstances beyond our control.

One of the saddest and unfair things about anger is that people think what you say when you are angry is really what you think and have been harboring in our minds, which might be true or not.

Another sad thing is that we cannot recall our words once dispensed or the effects they cause let alone have them forgotten; Simpler phrased “You can’t take back words you already have uttered”.

On the other hand, it doesn’t take much to make someone angry, cut someone on the high way or laugh at a friend in an embarrassing situation and get to see the emotions that flare.

People with anger management issues tend to get sick more often, with diverse effects on their immune systems with a higher percentage of heart attack and other lifestyle diseases ranging from coronary disease to high blood pressure.

Of-course anger is not always wrong, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary and this happens and is experienced by everyone.

Anger is inevitable, you can’t stop getting angry, even the world’s most sedate person has uttered a few cursing words in traffic, that includes that person you have never seen angry or associated with anger.

Does punching a wall, cursing using the “F” word or throwing abusive words and raising your voice help you calm down, the answer is NO!

We know that excessive angry outbursts are bad for our health and to assist us with this,

Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to un-managed anger include:

  • Headaches
  • Increased anxiety
  • Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
  • Depression
  • Insomnia
  • Heart attack
  • Stroke.
  • High blood pressure

To escape this stressful illnesses and make better our quality of life, I have listed down a few pointers to help manage that anger.

All you need is a journal, some time, a little of self awareness and dedication.

Approach taking back control from anger with the below ideas whenever you experience an anger buildup or outburst.

  1. When something pisses you off, instead of screaming or honking if on the road, take some time to control your breathing, take deep breaths in sequence, spend two to three minutes inhaling deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathing the other way round would be helping build it up and is discouraged for this. Imagine inhaling calm good air through the nose and exhaling toxic air through the mouth.
  2. Relax your muscles, unclench your fist, make a conscious effort to loosen those shoulders and slump a little, great posture is awesome but for now, let those muscles sag or slag a little.
  3. Get it out, grab your journal when you get a chance, write down exactly what made you angry. If jotting it down is a little difficult, talk to someone about it, not just anyone, maybe that confidant or person you are trust for positive criticism.
  4. Identify the anger and observe it, put your anger into context by think rationally instead of emotionally. By observing your anger, you can displace yourself from it and can as well process and understand the recurrent unfolding patterns, those feelings you get when it all begins, this avails a platform or beginning to take back control of your life from emotion.
  5. When possible use humor to diffuse intense situations. Laugh about it, when you can, like the “Joker” on “Batman cartoon” does to ensure he stays on top of his emotional game and not affected by the happenings occurring at that particular time. However be very careful as this might aggravate the situation already at hand depending on the persons involved.

There are more than the above listed ways that can effectively help deal with anger issues, take a look at the below suggested recommendations-:

You need to find a healthy way to process your anger or else you could run into some really nasty health problems.

Learn to identify anger directed at you, some people are experts and masters at emotion control that enslaves you to their will.

Take some time out to give yourself time and room to have the bigger picture of the situation at hand.

Take initiative of anger management classes to help you with this.

Anger has diverse effects not just on you the bearer, but the people you constantly interact with like family and workmates.

Getting upset happens but getting angry does not have to follow.

You can take back words you didn’t say, but you can’t take back words you already have committed.

Think before you speak.

There is no excuse or justification enough to hurt people around you.

Speak to someone about it, only that person who will give you constructive criticism without fear or favor.

Get physical exercise, this helps release emotions to reduce anger buildups.

Recurrent outbursts of anger tint us negatively as well as burdens our emotions with guilt, which further suppress our inner potential and capability to experience other human emotions.

Having friends with management issues is like trying to walk on egg shells, trying by all means not to upset them.

If and when you choose to pursue your anger, remember, no matter how angry you are, restrict the expression of your anger to the incident that provoke you without bringing the whole clan of issues related while citing past examples.

Employ the 21 days golden rule of habit adaptation to assist you change and replace those bad habits you wish to get rid of.

I cannot promise you wouldn’t get angry ever again after reading this, but hopefully it will help you you find a way to deal with your anger a little better.

Have yourself a well anger managed day, or should I say hour for those with frequent outbursts.



Frank Odhiambo

Mind Grid Perspectives

4 thoughts on “Anger management

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    1. Very true, this works with as it takes advantage of mental volatility, that characteristic of the minds inability to sustain thoughts you are not focusing on, giving a chance for other thoughts to rush in and displace the current ones!


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